shrink wrapped, out of air (21/52)

I guess I am feeling kind of small and lonely lately and there’s not a lot that I can do about that so this is my little way of showing you guys how I feel. 

I do everything in extremes. When I do something, I do it well or I don’t do it at all. I love too much and stray away too far. It’s always something I’ve admired about myself but I’m seeing now just how much trouble it can get me into.

Every time I go to take a photo, I feel more and more that it was a mistake to begin this project because now I have some personal standard that I have to live up to. I can’t stop because I can’t can’t can’t quit anything. So thanks for sticking with me and these less than mediocre photos.

19/52

This was a long, crazy week and I honestly forgot to take a photo specifically for this week’s photo because a lot of unexpected things happened. But here is an honest, straight up photo of my face for the first time in this project.

Up in the woods (18/52)

I can’t begin to explain to you just how important some of these little things in my life are.

deep in the meadow (17/52)

my forest feels so dreamy just before sunset.

Here is the place where I love you (16/52)

15/52

These photos are getting boring and I hate looking at them and having my ideas fail, but it feels very meditative just letting myself create something. I’m glad that I have this project to keep me grounded even if this isn’t what I’m into anymore. This consistency is a really big thing.

I was reading something or watching some film recently and there was a line that was something like “The things that you do in your life aren’t as important as who you’re with when you’re doing those things.” And I realized just how fortunate I am to have the people in my life that I do. I know I don’t say it enough, but I really do appreciate everyone so much, whether I’ve seen them five times in the past week or not for two years or they live across an ocean. I couldn’t explain fully using comprehensible sentences just how wonderful all the people I know are without bawling my eyes out and I think that’s when you know how good your friends are.

14/52

I believe in rubber boots and scraped knees and tree climbing and Where The Wild Things Are style rumpuses. A lot of stuff is making me very happy lately but this is where I feel most safe. This tree fell in our forest on Thursday night and I guess it sparked the beginning of something pretty cool. This photo has a lot of meaning to me, as simple as it is. Summer’s going to bring me a lot of good things and I really can’t wait to see what’s coming up next.

It feels good to say that I am over a quarter of the way finished this project and that I really like at least four of my photos. As much as I want to give up on this, I know I need to keep it going. Just reminding myself that I’m doing this project for me and not to please anyone else, and that there are next to no guidelines for what I’m going to accomplish in the next 38 weeks.

(and although I’m not doing this specifically for you guys, I’m still so appreciative of your support and opinions)

12/52

This project is really getting to me. I’m realizing that I’m only continuing to finish it, and because of that, my art is suffering. I’m not putting the effort I should be into this and I don’t think it’s worth my time to force myself to create things that mean nothing to me. 

After finishing my 365 project in December, I was so worn out creatively but I pushed myself to start again with something a bit more relaxed. I’m completely full of inspiration again but I don’t want to put that inspiration towards photographs at this point in time because there are other things I need to experiment with first.

In other words, I’m pretty sure this project is done. Maybe permanently, maybe just put on hold for now. Perhaps I’ll give myself a few more weeks of mediocre photos but I don’t think this will continue too far past the end of March. I want to keep creating, but on my own time and when I’m inspired to create photographs again. That’s when I’ll have the most luck with this.